Hanging onto Hope

As I sat in church tonight, listening to our guest speaker, who I always learn so much from, I found my heart wandering.  As it has been doing a lot lately.  I am struggling to hang onto hope.  And it’s tearing me apart inside.

Then he asked us to take a look at where we were 5 years ago & compare it to where we are now.

And it finally clicked.

Reflecting on where God has taken my life from where it was 5 years ago is beyond humbling.  He took a completely broken girl, who was actively choosing to run from Him, and loved me enough to give me a life beyond anything that broken girl ever imagined was possible.

And it was 5 years.  5 very short years.  That’s it.

So why do I doubt now?

Every aspect of my life is in an incredibly beautiful season right now.  It’s by no means perfect, but it’s peaceful.  And it’s growing & challenging me to be better every day.  And I’m thoroughly enjoying the journey of the unknown.

Except in one area.

Dating/Marriage/Kids.

This is a very dark cloud that is hanging over my head right now.  With every failed date, I really am losing hope & questioning if God has this under control.  He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, right?  So has He forgotten this part of my story??

As I reflected over the past 5 years, I really see a consistent theme.  God hasn’t given me 1 thing before I was prepared for that season.  And I’m quite thankful for that.  There are a lot of things I begged & pleaded for years that God did not give me.  At least not on my time table.  And when I finally did receive it, I fully understood why it didn’t come sooner.

It would have been a burden in that season.  Not a blessing.

So I’m going to focus my heart on what I do know.  God’s timing is always perfect.  And He creates stories beyond anything I can even dream up at this moment in my life.

And isn’t that worth hanging onto & waiting for?

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.”  ~Hebrews 6:19

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