As I sat in church tonight, listening to our guest speaker, who I always learn so much from, I found my heart wandering. As it has been doing a lot lately. I am struggling to hang onto hope. And it’s tearing me apart inside.
Then he asked us to take a look at where we were 5 years ago & compare it to where we are now.
And it finally clicked.
Reflecting on where God has taken my life from where it was 5 years ago is beyond humbling. He took a completely broken girl, who was actively choosing to run from Him, and loved me enough to give me a life beyond anything that broken girl ever imagined was possible.
And it was 5 years. 5 very short years. That’s it.
So why do I doubt now?
Every aspect of my life is in an incredibly beautiful season right now. It’s by no means perfect, but it’s peaceful. And it’s growing & challenging me to be better every day. And I’m thoroughly enjoying the journey of the unknown.
Except in one area.
This is a very dark cloud that is hanging over my head right now. With every failed date, I really am losing hope & questioning if God has this under control. He promises to give us the desires of our hearts, right? So has He forgotten this part of my story??
As I reflected over the past 5 years, I really see a consistent theme. God hasn’t given me 1 thing before I was prepared for that season. And I’m quite thankful for that. There are a lot of things I begged & pleaded for years that God did not give me. At least not on my time table. And when I finally did receive it, I fully understood why it didn’t come sooner.
It would have been a burden in that season. Not a blessing.
So I’m going to focus my heart on what I do know. God’s timing is always perfect. And He creates stories beyond anything I can even dream up at this moment in my life.
And isn’t that worth hanging onto & waiting for?
“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” ~Hebrews 6:19