Letting Go

“I know how to survive in tight situations, and I know how to enjoy having plenty.  In fact, I have learned how to face any circumstances: fed or hungry, with or without.  I can be content in any and every situation through the Anointed One who is my power and strength.”  ~Philippians 4:12-13

There are weeks where I feel like I am so incredibly strong.  I have been through some pretty tough storms.  I have survived.  And I am better and more grounded for having experienced them.  So I remind myself, I can conquer it all.  But then there are weeks where it seems like one thing after another just keeps spiraling in the wrong direction.  Meaning, the opposite of where I would like for it to go.  And all of the sudden, I feel completely knocked down and defeated.

And I realize why, pretty quickly.

I’m taking the reigns from God.

When I am in the deep valleys, I have no choice but to depend on God.  Because I need help.  I can’t find my way out of it without Him and my need to get out of the situation is desperate enough for me to surrender control.  But once the storms have passed, and I’m feeling grounded again, I tend to start sprinting forward in a race I’m not equipped to conquer.  At least, not on my own.

It’s a constant tug and pull of wanting to propel myself forward and God pulling me back.  And in those moments when God is throwing a huge road block in my path, I am not a person of faith.  I do not remember what He has done for me and how faithful He has always been.  I get upset.  I get angry.  I want to understand why.  I want things to happen my way, on my time table.

How quickly we forget.

God knows what’s on the other side of that road block.  I do not.  And I’m not promised to ever know.  It doesn’t make it any less frustrating.  And I have spent countless hours trying to figure out ways to climb over, ways to detour around it, and ways to push it out of the way.  But the same thing always remains.

He loves me enough to not budge.

Even when I’m desperately begging Him, He stands firm to ensure I don’t walk down paths I am not meant to travel.

I am convinced that experiencing difficult times does not make the next road block any easier.  I think it just makes us wiser.  Wise enough to know that we need to let go, sit still, and trust that everything in this world is temporary.  God has a beautiful plan for our lives on this earth.  And this precious time is oh so short.  Do we really want to waste some of that time desperately kicking and screaming at the road blocks?  Or do we want to take a step back, let go and ask God which direction to go instead?

“For all my wanting, I don’t have anyone but you in heaven.  There is nothing on earth that I desire other than you.  I admit how broken I am in body and spirit, but God is my strength, and He will be mine forever.”  ~Psalm 73:25-26

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