While there are so many things I am so excited to share & teach with my daughter someday, this is the one thing I pray daily that she will learn from me. Not by what I say, but how I’ve chosen to live my life.
Sweet girl, you are capable of doing extraordinary things.
Growing up ridiculously shy, the baby in the family, and to top it all off, the only introvert in a family of extroverts who thrived on adventure, I was protected since the day I was born. I was comfortable in the safety of knowing my parents or sister would speak for me so that I did not have to. I would rather sink into the back of the room & possibly take death over being the center of attention. But no matter how much my family protected me, I always had this irrational fear of being left.
I have always had strong gut instincts & I believe this was something God was planting in my heart in preparation for my future. I would be stripped of all comfort & safety that I knew, in order for God to turn me into the woman He created me to be.
My 20’s were a place where I took extremely calculated risks when it came to my career. I turned down a promotion with Benefit cosmetics when I was 24, in order to stay in the safety of the comfortable. In a job I knew I could do well, rather than trade it for the unknown. God brought the same job to me 6 months later, but now, it would require me to move to Houston. My best friends lived there, so I gladly accepted the job this time. I was laid off 6 months later.
At 30 years old, I found myself in a place where my life was so calculated that I would eat at the same 5 restaurants & order the same thing at each one as a form of control. The moment I turned over my life to God 4 years ago, He threw me in a job where I traveled alone 50% of the month. During this time, I became severely ill & was told after each of the 14 tests run that I was perfectly healthy. This began my journey to wellness & health.
By the time I moved onto my next role, covering 23 states, I thrived on the adventure of a new city & being able to explore all that it offered. I revolved experiences around what would bring me wellness to keep myself healthy on the road. I no longer feared food – I knew I had learned all that I needed to in order to keep my body strong.
After many failed relationships, I began to see a therapist because I was convinced that I chose the wrong men to date. After listening to a hand full of my dating situations & dissecting them so lovingly with me, my therapist looked at me & asked me what 1 thing all of these men had in common. I have never wanted to punch somebody so bad in my life.
I was sitting at church alone one day when a girl next to me asked me if I was a part of a small group & invited me to come to hers. I was craving community, so I attended immediately, having no idea what to expect. I had not participated in a bible study since high school. It was co-ed & what I observed were women craving a space to be raw & real whenever the guys left the room. I felt God call me to start a women’s bible study in my home 6 months later.
I was driving down the road after a therapy appointment 4 years ago when I felt God tell me I was going to become a therapist. I laughed, as I was not sure what a broken girl who could barely take care of herself, had to offer the world. I nervously shared this with my therapist, who informed me that most therapists go to therapy themselves.
I cried watching the documentary “Minimalism” on Jan 2, 2017. I called my dad & told him that the season of my cosmetic career was coming to a close. He gave me the best pep talk that I shouldn’t worry about a disappointing holiday season. On Jan 9, 2017, I received the call that my position was being eliminated, effecting Feb 28.
I accepted a position with a start up company for a product I personally adored. I met one of my closest girl friends, connected with a gal who introduced me to IIN, the school I would enroll on a whim, and solidified my passion for wellness & health. I moved to Austin. I left my friends, my workout routine, my loft that had become my safe haven, a church that grew me into the woman of faith I never knew I could be.
I would switch jobs again 4 months later. Take a huge step down in my career. Go to an office everyday. Get up to workout at 7a every morning at the same studio. Life would return to comfortable. And I finally had a rhythm again.
A few weeks ago, thanks to a picture popping up on Facebook’s “On this day”, I realized it has been 4 years since I left the abusive relationship & turned my life back over to God. One of my girl friends asked me how I felt when I realized that. And for the first time in my life, I felt so unbelievably grateful. When I look back at all of these little moments in my life, all I can see is a God who has been so unbelievably faithful at orchestrating each second to prepare me for the next. And ultimately, leading me to what I am ultimately made to do. If you would have told me the woman God would turn me into someday, I would have never believed you. I would have been too scared & paralyzed by fear.
Thankfully I serve a God who only asks me to walk 1 step at a time in obedience. I see a girl who believed & loved her God so much, she always took that step, no matter how scary it felt. She trusted that even when she said “no”, God brought it back around when she was ready to say “yes”. She took risks.
I see a story of life experiences that have fine tuned me to my ultimate passion & purpose. To help women realize, they are so very capable of doing extraordinary things. When we trust where God is leading us, He writes more beautiful stories than we can ever imagine.
Every single one of those moments added up to creating a strong woman who was so excited when God revealed the plan for her to open a wellness center for women.
I know I am capable of extraordinary things. Not because of me. But because I serve a God who has been preparing me every step of the way for this.
And He has strengthened my faith so much that I no longer fear what step is next.
I’m actually excited 🙂